I want to save you
by claritygirl17
Summary: Gakuen Alice AU When Mikan travels to an alternate reality, where the ESP existed and Natsume dies, where 'Mikan' loved him so much, she wants to change the future of Natsume in this present world, and help herself avoid the dreaded future 'she' didn't want. Love wasn't part of the plan, but it comes in an unexpected wave...
1. Prologue

**To Love, or not To Love.**

 **I never saved your number but I'll always remember your name.**

 **When your message pops up, I don't know why, but I'll be the first to read it.**

 **We've been perfect strangers and I really want to change your future.**

 **That is,**

 **Before you die...**


	2. I want to cry!

**Mikan's POV**

She felt the pain of heartbreak seep through the cracks in her defenses. Although she never confessed to him, it still hurt. There he was, an infectious smile plastered on his face, reflecting the bright future they had, with Misaki's arm looped around his, painting the perfect picture of bliss. They had gotten together during Spring, under the blushing cherry blossoms where the words she wanted to say rolled off her tongue in disjointed syllables, but he had loved her back too. When lessons had resumed in autumn, Mikan wore a gloomy atmosphere that severely affected the classroom. After all, she was the main source of joy for the class, a bubbly student whose laughter could warm the coldest of hearts. In her class 3-E, she had fitted perfectly, albeit not with some females like Sumire who still pretended to not like her, but other than that, she was doing well.

" Mikan-chan, are you okay?"

Yuu Tobita asked sweetly, concerned about her well being as she had shown up with a pallid face and puffed eyes. Only Yuu and Hotaru Imai knew of her affections towards her senior, and although they both supported her, Hotaru had warned her with various photos of Misaki and Tsubasa captured together, often walking together. She hadn't deemed Misaki as a threat, since she was often with other guys and behaved roughly the same around Tsubasa, but the unexpected had occured and she stole the heart of Tsubasa away.

Hotaru only stole a quick glance as Mikan slumped into her seat and buried her head in the folds of her arms, and then went back to tweaking her newest invention. the Angler-fish Projector, ignoring the radiating depression from Mikan.

" Say something at least IMAI-SAN!"

" She'll cry even more if I do. "

She couldn't bear to make a mean remark. There was nothing she knew about comforting others anyways - she was naturally self centered and had no idea how to cheer people up. That was another reason to add to her list why she wanted to make a Mikan robot - one that did the job for her. The money would come rolling in too. It was a win-win situation.

Yuu had prepared a litany of words to narrate to cheer her up, yet he couldn't seem to remember them clearly now. When she had entered the classroom, he had forgotten all that he memorized, having to use the strength to gather up his courage to talk to Mikan. Seeing Mikan down in the dumps had pulled down his mood, made him forlorn too. Without her happy, he felt uncomfortable. Disturbed. As much as he wanted to proffer a hug and whisper that everything was alright, he was a guy. And guys don't just hug girls for friendly purposes.

" KYAAA NATSUME-SAN!"

The high pitched squeals of the girls in the class, especially Sumire, who had stars in her eyes, dragged Mikan from her depression and she turned her head to see who had arrived.

It was Natsume Hyuuga, aged 14, in class 3-E. He had dated around whenever he felt like it, but dumped them with the plain reason of "I'm bored". He wasn't a certified player, just a cold guy that had evaded the radar of people who she noticed when she was focused on Tsubasa. Since she had spent all the moments when Tsubasa was accessible to her with him, she had been oblivious to the growing popularity of Natsume, the one wielding the powerful fire alice. He belonged in the Latent Type Class, and with his abilities he had won the class many awards during the Alice Festival, and was due to help the country's defenses once he graduated.

Upon knowing the identity of the person who had roused the attention of the female students in her class, she went back to wallowing in self pity and diving into depression.

 _ **Author's Thought's:**_

 _ **I will update frequently since its the holidays...around once or twice weekly! This is a crazy idea I decided to try so bear with me! I appreciate your reviews so leave them okkk!**_

 _ **-meekB00kworm :)**_


	3. I want to go back in time!

" Class is starting, so settle down everyone! To your seats please!"

Narumi-sensei strolled into class for the first time in months, announcing a class trip to the High School Campus where they would learn more about parallel worlds and the intermittent links between each world. Nodachi-sensei had briefly skimmed through the theory in a special type class lesson. even offering to bring the students through a time trip. The students had all declined in fear of roaming in an unknown time period for hours though.

" As you know, we'll be taking a look at the keyhole of one of the wooden double doors. That is our 'link' to the past, present, future, and parallel worlds."

A sea of murmurs rose among the students as they contemplated the fun of the trip, and Mikan's face regained color upon hearing about the enigmatic keyhole which connected them to otherworldly places. Could this keyhole alter her future, and maybe she would end up with...? Giggling to herself with an evil ambiance which made even Kokoroyomi stop reading the ill intentioned thoughts surfacing on her mind, she suddenly stood up with newfound enthusiasm and inquired,

" Do we get to use it?"

She had such hopes in her eyes that Narumi-sensei couldn't bear to disappoint - this was the liveliest she had been in days.

" Mmm, I'm not really sure...Fuku-chan, I'll leave it to you now. Good luck!"

Without giving a clear answer, he walked off and left an angry and upset assistant teacher who wept at his plight. Mikan was back to her cheerful self, humming to the reignited possibility of her and Tsubasa that existed not in her castle of dreams, but perhaps reality. She would take the first step and confess to him months before Misaki ever realized that she loved him. Yep that would be the plan.

All throughout Makihara-sensei's science lesson on the human circulatory system, his lectures sailed over her head, and none of the knowledge was absorbed in. As much as she wanted to see Grandpa, now wasn't the time! Tsubasa was more important anyways...

 **" If blood is flowing through your veins, and your heart is convulsing, that means that you're alive."**

Epiphany struck her like a ton of bricks.

Why did this phrase seem so familiar?

All of a sudden, her heartbeat drummed out the fading groans of her classmates and pain.

Why was there a throbbing ache?

" Mikan-chan? "

"Huh?"

" Class ended. Are you feeling alright?"

" I guess so... let's go. "

Yuu Tobita had to drag Hotaru away from her newest invention just to make her join them, and Mikan brushed off the odd feeling, prancing to the outdoor round tables where they usually had lunch with Tsubasa and Misaki.

" Yo Mikan, you okay?"

Tsubasa had on a **small smile** , grateful that she was up and back to her delighted self. Misaki was sitting right beside him, sipping tea in a ruffian manner, patting Mikan's head to welcome her warm self back. The days without her on the table had been boring, with no one to accidentally spill the tea, and Tsubasa and Misaki who had only **dined in silence.**

Bear's sewn on lips had curled up when it sensed her presence, and had prepared it's best cookies for the day.

" Yeah, I am! I'm feeling better than ever anyways!"

" Well that's good. I and Misaki have been invited to accompany you all for the trip tomorrow. Excited? "

Mikan beamed brighter than ever, but her mood fell when she realized that he wouldn't be too happy at her plans to go back in time and change the future. Maybe she would only consult Yuu and Hotaru at dinner later. Only small talk had resumed between Misaki and Mikan, the **awkwardness that clung in the atmosphere still tight** , but they still were positive about her comeback.

Author's Note:

 ** _You can try to figure out the situation between Tsubasa and Misaki, I've bolded the few hints! Maybe another chapter later? We'll see._**


	4. I want to try!

**Author's Note:**

 **Okay I'm sorry for not focusing on Natsume, that will be around Chapter 4, around there. Please bear with me! Leave reviews please! Now enjoy :) Songs used - Perfect strangers**

The female students swarmed into the dining hall in smatters, each pulling out a mahogany chair with a carved heart incised at the top and a cushion on the seat, and settled down before they tucked into their respective dinners.

 _ **Today's Dinner Menu**_

 _ **1 Star - Mushroom soup, a slice of baguette with butter, simple tomato pasta with meatballs**_

 _ **2 Star - Corn and Potato soup, 1 loaf of garlic bread, Herb crusted Langoustine pasta**_

 _ **3 Star - Chicken essence soup, 2 loaves of garlic bread, one bowl of mixed fruits,**_ _ **H** **omemade tagliolini topped with two pounds of fresh Maine lobster and one ounce of black truffle**_

The room buzzed with the frantic energy of students who had no concern for table manners and the fast exchange of words over the dinner table. Takahashi-san, the carer of the female dormitories wheeled away to prepare for the washing of dishes, pleased that the meals were well received today too. Mikan wolfed down her meal with an insatiable appetite, the imminent hunger from starving herself the past few days filling itself now that she had finally broken the fast. Hotaru fought to suppress the bubbling laughter that tickled her throat, trying to keep a straight face at her commonplace villager behavior.

" Thank you for the meal! "

She stood up and left for the kitchen where Takahashi-san was collecting the dishes to clean for tomorrow's breakfast. When she laid her dish on the pile that had collected in the sink, Takahashi-san came over to her side suddenly, surprisingly Mikan who had almost hit the piled plates with the back of her hand and almost toppling them.

" Are you feeling better, Mikan-chan?"

Her robotic voice was laced with humane care for her welfare, an unusual thing for robots who usually had monotonous voices and held no emotions for humans. This was yet another special feature of the school. Mikan couldn't help but feel pinpricks of guilt that attacked her conscience for being at the receiving end of her friends' concern for her well being. It was always her who had the responsibility of making sure everyone felt comfortable and happy, but her selfish personality had caused her to neglect the responsibility she had ever since her first day of school.

'" I am, so don't worry, okay? "

Takahashi-san was taken aback by those words at first, but seeing the trademark grin on her face convinced her not to fret over Mikan anymore.

" Tell the others to deliver their plates soon!"

" Okay!"

Mikan hollered back to the kitchen as she left. Hotaru was still consuming her pasta in a refined manner, her face blank as a sheet. Hotaru really had no appreciation for food sometimes, Mikan sighed internally. Deciding that she would review her plan with the logic minded Hotaru, she slid back into her seat beside Hotaru and tugged on her shirt. Calling Hotaru by her name would get her ignored anyways.

" What. "

Her disinterest in the conversation was evident in her tone but Mikan had learnt that Hotaru hid her emotions well and actually had a soft spot for her friends, so she would definitely help her out.

" I'm planning to use the keyhole we'll visit on tomorrow's trip to go back into the past and change my future!"

" DON'T DO THAT!"

The prattling of students about their day ceased for a moment as they turned their heads to look at Hotaru who raised her voice for the first time, her face contorted in fear and anger.

" You don't need to shout about it..."

Mikan twiddled her thumbs in and shot her a saddened look in an attempt to mollify Hotaru, but Hotaru was not appeased in the slightest. Her foolish actions could land her in a great deal of trouble, and Hotaru hadn't expected Mikan would be that desperate when it came to love. More accurately, her persistence was being used the wrong way. Inhaling deeply, she calmed her nerves and sat back down, yet again turning to Mikan.

" You better not be doing that. I'm serious. "

When Hotaru was this serious, there was most probably a disastrous consequence behind whatever she was planning. But Hotaru didn't know how much this mattered to her. Tsubasa was her world, her everything, her oxygen, and most importantly, her first love. Just trying to abandon and forget her strong feelings had damaged her beyond repair, trying to change her future would be better than nothing...

" but.."

" NO! you hear me, don't do it!"

Alarm bells were ringing in Hotaru's mind. Flashes of worry clouded her poker face expression, but she could care less. Time travelling was dangerous, and to utilize time for such selfish requests could get her trapped! But obviously Mikan being the complete air head she was and having no interest in reading up on time travel, she probably wouldn't believe her if she told her the consequences.

" You know what, suit yourself. I'm heading to my room. "

" Hotaru! Come back!"

She pulled out her chair abruptly and trudged off, unable to face Mikan. Why did she care so much about that idiot anyways?! It pained her that Mikan was such a careless fool, doing things based on what she thought was best... there was an unfamiliar pressure behind her eyelids and when she blinked, a thin yet steady stream of tears flowed down the curves of her face, sadness piercing her heart in the form of an arrow plunged deep in her heart, opening up a wound.

Meanwhile, Mikan was albeit a bit confused, but knowing that she had upset Hotaru for some unknown reason, she decided not to pursue Hotaru. After all Hotaru probably needed some time alone. It was the first time she had ever raised her voice in public, which gave her a shock.

" well, who cares about stupid Hotaru anyway! "

"You do. "

Great. There was another internal debate that was going to happen now.


	5. I want to live in a parallel world!

**Author's Note:**

 **I'm literally crying now...thank you ElleIU2000! This chapter will probably have Natsume, I swear! Please read and review, don't be a silent reader! Comment on my vocab, plot, or what you would expect for the next chapter :) And also there'll be a new chapter up tomorrow to apologize for not updating last week because of my camp and a lot of activities :)**

The bus lurched forward, the engine roaring back to life as plumes of carbon monoxide spurts out. Strangely, Mikan was seated with Nonoko and there was a palpable tension after the altercation between Mikan and Hotaru. All traces of discrepancy in her poker face had vanished over the night, and she was facing the window pane, flickers of uncertainty dancing in her violet pupils. She had lost her temper back then, triggered by the surmount worry she had for her best friend. The idiotic girl, the one who had followed her to the Alice Academy, if she was caught drifting in between the rifts of time and space, she would be trapped there for years! But it wasn't like she would listen to her - she had a stubborn mindset that never let go of an idea once it had been decided upon. Unfortunately, all Hotaru could do was wait and stop her from attempting to change the future she currently lived in.

"..."

Instead of the mundane smatters of conversations and occasional guffaws during the bus journey, the class remained eerily quiet, without the infectious happiness that had deformed into a unsettling sadness that probed everyone into silence. Kokoroyomi had tried to read Mikan's mind but she had been one step ahead and wore sunglasses whenever he approached her. Although her classmates had approached her to try to cheer her up, she had refused to let them into the source of her problems. Her mood seemed to have temporarily lifted today, but her soul was still anchored somewhere far, where no one could find her.

" Mikan-chan, are you okay? You look glum..."

Nonoko knew about the fight with Hotaru. Although conflicts between the two were common, Mikan would usually be the first to compromise and apologize to Hotaru, who would in return admit she was wrong about some parts. However, this was somehow their first 'real' fight. Neither parties had conceded, and it was probably over the issue that had bothered Mikan over the past few days.

" uh, well, I'm fine! Really! I just have this idea-"

Mikan immediately clapped her hands to her mouth.

" Mikan...IS THERE SOMETHING YOU'RE NOT TELLING ME?"

Her fearsome glares pierced right through the heart of Mikan's secrets, and all of a sudden, Mikan began to sweat heavily.

" uh, no! I mean why would I? I don't lie you know..."

And she rambled on with a million other reasons stating why she was telling the obvious truth, but Nonoko had an evil ambiance that would often force most to spill the beans. She had not used this aura on Mikan for she sympathized with her sadness, but now that Mikan had let it slip, she was more curious than ever.

" okay...okay..."

Mikan slunk back into her seat after the passionate reasoning and began explaining in bits and pieces, of her idea to use the keyhole to unlock another parallel ending, just like the ones she had seen in Otome games. She did not tell on her infatuation with Tsubasa, but Nonoko had formed a general idea of what she wanted.

" hmm, well, I guess you should go ahead. You know, if I was you, I wouldn't let whatever consequences stop me. I'd do it, in the name of love."

In the name of love? That was an interesting point of view, one that Mikan mostly agree with since it was right on her gut feeling. But then there was the consequences that came with it that even made Hotaru explicitly show her emotions.

" I'll support you, if you want."

Well consequences can go to hell. As soon as Nonoko had nudged her forward with her previous encouragement, Mikan had her heart set on her main aim.

The bus screeched to a stop, fold-able doors opening for the students to exit the bus.

It was almost time to execute her plan.


	6. I want to travel back in time!

**Author's Note: Oh my llama! Even though this story only has 1 review { hopefully more }, favorite and follow, I'm very grateful to the rest who have bothered to at least read all the way! Please don't be a silent reader - laugh, predict, even critique any character's behavior if you'd like. I'm open to reviews on how to improve because I'm not perfect, so leave one! I think POVs should kick in...right about now!**

 _Mikan's POV._

Conflicting emotions still roils within me as I assure myself with Nonoko's encouragement which plays on repeat in my head like a broken recorder. With those few words, I should feel a little more braver, stepping off the bus in cautious steps and Nonoko's palm rested flat on the small of my back, propelling me forward. That's right, I clenched my fist to shut off the logical part of me who still insisted I accept reality, I will travel back in time, drop a few hints I had prepared the previous night, and I will confess my feelings before Misaki does.

" You can do this Mikan-chan! "

She whispers in my ear and then walks beside me, Anna-chan following suit soon after, clueless but still remaining bubbly. We all headed towards the crowd in front of the entrance to the High School Campus. There, the terrifying Jinno-sensei began briefing us with his thin wand held up high, ready to jolt anyone who wasn't paying attention.

" In this campus, you all must be QUIET! When I say quiet, I MEAN QUIET! I will not hesitate to electrocute anyone who doesn't follow the rules. Do not wander off, stay with the group, and never, I reiterate, NEVER, try to enter the active keyhole. There will be consequences if you try to do that. We are here only to learn about parallel worlds in theory, not travel them. Now, let's all head inside."

He briefed in a strict tone that resounded his message clearly to the class's students - do not misbehave. Although his lightning alice had been controlled through that black wand he had in his hands, it was still something you wouldn't really want to experience. But warning tones and all, I had been numbed already and besides, I was ready for whatever punishment I was going to get, as long as I had Tsubasa-senpai in the end.

The class trawled the long hallways of the High School Campus, which looked almost like a replica of the Middle School Campus, except with more facilities, such as technology labs, where there were touchscreen screens projected by a compact circular device, another one of Hotaru's inventions. Ah...Hotaru. The tugging on my conscience had intensified since I brought up her name...it was probably around this time where I would have conceded the fight and honestly say I still loved her and wanted to remain friends with her...but in the name of love and war, I can't! She would drag me back to my senses with her sensible advice and I don't want that!

" Wahhh, their cooking labs are equipped really well..."

Tantalizing scents of barbecued meat and Shanghai fried rice with salted pork and bok choy emanated from the kitchen where those with similar alices to Anna practiced. There were pots and pans hung above every table and their stoves utilized electricity to cook food, so it was flat with a circular marking, unlike at the Middle School campus where our stoves were powered by gas.

During our walking around the campus though, I could sense the fixed gaze that sent cold fingers playing down my spine.

It was a familiar kind of stare, but I didn't have time to figure this out now.

" Mikan-chan, what's the plan?"

Nonoko inquires me for the details, closing the small gap between us. I scrawl a few words on a piece of paper I hurriedly tore from my notebook and hand it to her. Anna tries to peek and find out the content of the note I passes Nonoko, but Nonoko deftly stuffs it in her right pocket.

" Hey, what are you all up to?"

Sorry Anna-chan...I can't tell you. Although Anna's eyes are narrowing and her eyebrows are pressed together as if she was trying to silently interrogate me, I manage to somehow get away with biting my lip nervously and avoiding eye contact at the moment. The class halts in front of the wooden double doors that lead to Music Room 3 and Jinno-sensei starts to explain the significance of the keyhole at the school.

" Now, as you can see here, this keyhole has a surprisingly hollow outlook, but it pulses with the energy it gathers from every alternate world created. It is very important that you understand to never use this keyhole, as it could get you trapped in time. "

That was what Hotaru had mentioned too. Her warnings resonate with the alarm bells that are set off with the confirmation by Jinno-sensei's information, but I silence the deafening thought that seems to drown out my yearning to change the future - the initial reason why I was so energetic these days.

At the corner of my eye, I notice that Nonoko had read through my note and gave me a thumbs up, meaning she understood what she had to do. But further ahead, I noticed Hotaru keeping a watchful eye on my actions too.

Well, sorry Hotaru-chan. But this is my once in a lifetime chance.

Jinno-sensei's lecture on the keyhole ends, and we are all ushered back the way we came from.

" Now, let's go back to the classroom children!"

Jinno-sensei goes behind to make sure that we are all on track to the bus and don't fall behind or stray. Nudging Nonoko lightly, she nods and goes next to Jinno-sensei, seemingly telling him something.

" Um, Jinno-sensei, I really really need to take a photo of that Chemistry Lab! "

" Why didn't you do so just now? "

" Well you see, we were all too harried and the photo came out blur...so I deleted it. Could we go back and take a photo of that?"

Nonoko's pleasant smile had somehow been able to keep Jinno-sensei distracted for awhile. With a sigh of relief, I hastened my pace and ducked into an empty classroom, rummaging through my bag for the inflatable life sized doll of me that I had been given last Christmas Party. It blew up at the press of a button, and I set it to Mikan mode. This would help cover me over the day.

I breathe a sigh of relief as it manages to walk out in time to meet Nonoko, who assists me by chattering to the doll to properly disguise it as me, and thankfully Anna doesn't really notice the plastered smile on the doll's face which would have been strange on me these days.

I wait behind the slightly ajar double doors of the classroom for the echoing footsteps to fade into the silence of the hallway before sneaking towards the keyhole.

" Can a human even fit in here? "

I wonder to myself incredulously, doubt written on my face as clear as day. Oh well, sucking in a deep breath, I poke my finger in the hollow of the keyhole.

" WAIT WHAT?"

To my surprise, it sucks in my whole being, pulling me into a dimension where light did not exist. Then, like my presence had breathed life into the pitch black space, it began to warp and its center expanded to reveal a time window, in which I saw fire.

At that moment, I had already forgotten about why I was here in the first place.

There was detritus that had been burned at the corners, and the scene unfolding in front of me seemed to be an acrimonious one. The background was of a shattered window from the hallways of our Middle School Campus, dying flames that engulfed the surroundings of a raven haired youth whose battered body carried deep wounds. His life seemed to hang on a thread. But his still ruby eyes struck a chord within me.

Why did I feel as if my heart was being shredded?

My breath caught as a girl with the same pigtails as mine rushed to his side and laid on his body, tears pooling in her eyes and flowed freely down her rosy cheeks in rivulets.

Death was inevitable to every human being, but somehow,

Half of my soul had been lost. Broken even.

Excruciating pain that drove through my chest like a hot knife through butter.

What was this intense feeling?

My body quivers at the intensity of this unknown feeling.

The throbs of his heart against his rib-cage is waning, and these fleeting heartbeats seem to cause a hollow within her being.

As my eyes raked in the situation,

I remembered.

Was what I was experiencing, perhaps,

 **Heartbreak?**

Soon,

whatever was it that gave him life,

it fled his body.

And yet another coagulated storm of emotions roils in my heart. Despair that loosens my grip on sanity, strangles my will to live. Sorrow which overwhelms me completely and etches his corpse into my mind, and that girl, hunched over his corpse, her tears that soaked the atmosphere with sadness.

And,

For some reason,

tears begin sliding down my cheeks too.


End file.
